


Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better(?)

by partypaprika



Category: Funny Girls (2014-New Zealand)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:40:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partypaprika/pseuds/partypaprika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here's the thing: Rose is normally a reasonable person. She is definitely reasonable, no, exceedingly reasonable. Obviously, she's not going to bend over backwards for people, because she is a confident woman who knows her inherent worth. But, if you were to ask almost anyone for the word that they most commonly associate with Rose, it would be reasonable. Well, actually, she hopes that people would say funny. Or maybe clever. Or feminist. Because that's what she's all about, being a feminist comedian, right? Er, what was she talking about?</p><p>The point is, Rose normally isn't all about biting off her nose to spite her face. Camera Guy just seems to bring out the worst in her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better(?)

**Author's Note:**

> This pretty much wrote itself after I saw [ this amazing gif set ](http://sandandglass.tumblr.com/post/132010841192/funny-girls-s01e01) which prompted me to watch the show. I...I...have no other excuse really.

Here's the thing: Rose is normally a reasonable person. She is definitely reasonable, no, exceedingly reasonable. Obviously, she's not going to bend over backwards for people, because she is a confident woman who knows her inherent worth. But, if you were to ask almost anyone for the word that they most commonly associate with Rose, it would be reasonable. Well, actually, she hopes that people would say funny. Or maybe clever. Or feminist. Because that's what she's all about, being a feminist comedian, right? Er, what was she talking about?

The point is, Rose normally isn't all about biting off her nose to spite her face. Camera Guy just seems to bring out the worst in her.

 

\---

 

Rose is trying to zip up the zipper to the duffle bag with all of the costumes for the shoot tomorrow morning when Camera Guy walks by. The zipper is not budging even though Rose is giving it her all. She really should go to the gym more than once a year in January, but really, new year's motivation only can count for so much. Maybe she could try those curl things with the mini-weights or whatever while she's at work--get a little extra forearm strength.

Camera Guy watches her for a minute. "Do you want some help with that?" he says.

"Nope, I've got it," Rose says, trying to smile, although it probably comes out as more of a snarl.

"I could," Camera Guy says and makes a hand gesture towards the bag. He could be offering to zip it up for her, or maybe sit on it, or maybe just make some pantomimes as inspiration.

Rose glares at him. "Nope, I'm fine." She pulls as hard as she possibly can on the zipper. "I set out to zip up this bag and I will zip it up. I am just as capable and qualified as you are at getting a bag closed."

Camera Guy raises an eyebrow. "So, metaphor again."

Rose opens her mouth to reply (or maybe her mouth opens itself, she's not always in control here) when the zipper starts to give way. "Aha!" she says, triumphantly. The zipper moves down the track just as the previously zipped up portion splits. The zipper then refuses to budge again, leaving Rose with a broken zipper duffle bag and a bunch of costumes to carry. Perfect.

"Uh--" Camera Guy says. "Would you like--"

"Nope!" Rose says, aware that her voice sounds more than a little shrill. She drags the bag over to the nearest window which looks out on the car park. She opens up the window and semi-props the bag up. She then starts dumping the contents of the bag into the parking lot. Rose looks back at Camera Guy, just daring him to say anything.

Camera Guy doesn't reply, just watches Rose shake the bag and the last of the clothes out of the window. Belatedly, Rose remembers that it rained this morning, so all of the clothes will be muddy. Fuck, she'll have to take them to the dry cleaner's and ask for them to express clean the clothes. Fuck.

When she's done, Rose glares at Camera Guy. "See, no help needed," she says and stalks away while she tries to remember which of the dry cleaners around her neighbourhood can do express cleaning.

 

\---

 

The following week, they're filming a skit at a local park when it starts raining. The director, a kid who's studying in film school (Pauline is the worst fucking producer), mutters something about not wanting to mess up his hair and then runs away.

Rose decides to protest her working conditions by taking a seat on a nearby bench. After a few minutes, Camera Guy comes over with an umbrella. He kind of appraises her for a second like he's thinking about offering her the shared use of his umbrella.

"Don't even think about it," Rose says.

Camera Guy tries to hide a smile. "I'm not offering because you're a woman and fragile and can't take care of yourself. It's because of your make-up as the rain is smearing it and I'm not sure if you want Shaky Hands over there having to re-do it."

They're filming a skit today about a professional woman having to conquer the outdoors. Pauline, of course, insisted that Rose be in clown make-up. Pauline is the worst fucking producer, Rose thinks for the millionth time. She's not even a producer! She's a property manager, Rose reminds herself, getting angry all over again.

Rose looks up at Camera Guy and squints. It's more due to the rain in her eyes rather than an intentional decision to try and intimidate him, but she hopes that it comes off as the latter. "Look, Camera Guy," she starts.

"Steve," Camera Guy interjects. "Socially, most people call me Steve."

"Ok," Rose says.

"Professionally as well. Generally, I just go by Steve." 

Rose takes a deep breath. "Alright, Steve," she says. "If the rain ruins my make-up, so be it. After all, I don't need make-up in order to feel good about myself. Make-up is an artificial construct that is just one additional way that men objectify women."

Steve raises his eyebrows but doesn't comment. Rose gives him a look that she hopes implies that he should now go try to find someone else who wants to be a damsel in distress. Steve doesn't move.

"Is there a reason you're still standing here?" Rose asks. 

"Mainly because that director kid locked himself and everyone else out of the location van. So it was standing around in the rain waiting for the locksmith or sitting on this bench over here."

Rose closes her eyes briefly at the utter pain that her soul feels in this moment. She bets that this never happens to Amy Schumer. Amy Schumer's show probably has several whole trailers, maybe even one specifically for Amy, instead of a single location van.

When Rose opens her eyes again, Steve is still standing there so Rose scoots over to make room for Steve to sit. After Steve sits, the umbrella is positioned in a way that it incidentally also covers Rose. Rose thinks about protesting, but it's incidental and it is nice to not have rain in her eyes.

"So, Camera Guy," Rose says.

"Steve," Steve says.

"Alright, Steve. Why are you even doing this? You don't seem to like being a camera operator very much."

"My aunt Pauline, the crazy one running around all the time, bullied me into doing this for her. I'm normally a freelance graphic artist."

Rose sighs. "Of course you are." Seriously, fucking Pauline.

Steve looks at Rose for a few seconds and Rose feels her face starting to turn red, for absolutely no reason at all. This may be the only time in her life that she's ever been thankful for wearing clown make-up.

"What about you?" Steve says finally. Rose feels a little glimmer of excitement that she tries to tamp down on at the thought of talking about how she ended up in comedy. "How did Aunt Pauline rope you into this mess?"

"She didn't--this is, this is my show." Unbelievable, Rose thinks. "I am a professional comedian--you know what, never mind. We're just going to end this conversation now."

 

\---

 

Steve, the camera guy-nephew, is sometimes replaced with June, the camera girl-daughter, or even worse, sometimes Pauline will just set up a blow up doll next to the camera. Steve may not be all that into the show and having to work on it, but at least he sometimes pretends to find their jokes funny.

When Christmas rolls around, the studio throws a big Christmas party that even Funny Girls gets invited to. Embarrassingly enough, Rose gets excited when she shows up and finds out that they have real food instead of paper cut-outs again.

Steve finds her in the corner, an hour or so into the party after the novelty of having real food has worn off, wrestling with an unopened bottle of beer. Why do these things always happen to her? Rose is willing to bet that every other person here got their beer with the top removed. Steve watches Rose unsuccessfully try to get the bottle cap off using her teeth, a nearby table top and then the wall, before giving up and just staring at it.

"I'm shocked you're not offering to help," Rose says. "Swooping in to save the girl and the day."

Steve holds up his hands, clearly try to hold back a smile. There's a bottle opener keychain in his hands. "Oh no, I've learned my lesson about trying to be nice to you."

Rose watches the bottle opener flash in the light. She grimaces and holds out her hand. "Do not say a word," she says as Steve hands her his keys. Steve does his best to look completely serious, although he fails miserably, as Rose opens up the bottle.

"Of course, my lips are sealed. I would never imply that you need my help. Just like I would never imply that you look very nice in that dress." Rose gives Steve a sharp look. "I know that what's on the inside is far more important than what's on the outside," he continues.

Rose looks suspiciously at Steve when she hands him back the keys as she decides whether or not she's going to take offense to that. There's a moment when their hands touch as Steve takes his keys back and Rose's heart gives a little extra thump at that. Rose decides to take the high road and be the better person here.

"So, uh, how goes the graphic designing?" Rose says.

"Great," Steve says. "I've been doing some work for AA Directions and with the University of Auckland's printers, which has been nice."

"Great," Rose says. "That's great."

Some indeterminate amount of time later, Rose finds herself outside with Steve and strangely enough, her lips have somehow managed to become attached to Steve's. She would protest this state of affairs, except for the fact that Steve is a really good kisser. Or maybe Rose actually likes him, she's not sure at this point.

When they finally pull apart and stand against the building wall, awkwardly, Rose isn't quite sure what to do. She kind of wants to have a repeat of this, but is that giving in? She deliberates that for a few seconds before she realizes that Steve has sneakily intertwined their fingers. She glares down at her traitorous hand and then glares at Steve for good measure.

Steve keeps his face appropriately neutral. "What?" Rose says. "You're not going to tell me that I look nicer when I smile?"

Steve shakes his head. "Definitely not. Besides, I like it when you glare."

Rose appraises Steve suspiciously along with their intertwined hands. "Fair enough," she says after a second. "I'll reserve that speech for another time." Rose takes a deep breath and thinks about how she is a strong, independent and confident woman. "Maybe I could give that speech to you this weekend over drinks?"

Steve looks back at her, a little surprised, and then smiles. "Yeah, I'd really like that. I look forward to not ordering for you and hearing about how the check should be paid."

"That's good," Rose says, seriously. "Because I have a lot of thoughts about how checks--" but before she can finish explaining that checks should be split equally, except if you're in a committed relationship and one person makes substantially more than the other, Steve leans back in to kiss her and, well, even Rose has her weaknesses.


End file.
